Two words that stir up a plethora of emotions.
For many women, Mother’s Day is a celebration of their motherhood. A time for homemade gifts from kids, breakfast in bed, and if you are lucky, a day off from doing laundry. For many other women, however, Mother’s Day is truly one of the most painful days of the year. For many years, I was one of those women.
When my husband and I decided it was time to have kids, I remember clearly it was a January, I figured I would probably be pregnant by Mother’s Day. My cycles were charted, I knew my fertile days, this should be easy. Every month would start with excitement, and it would end in tears. An every 28-day reminder that I still wasn’t going to be a mom.
The months turned into a year, and the fertility tests began. “Relax,” people would say. “You’ll get pregnant if you don’t stress about it.” Don’t stress about it–are you kidding me? Everywhere I turned, someone else was pregnant. I began to wonder, “Why not me, God?”
After another year of tests, we were told the only way we would ever get pregnant is through IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). I gave myself so many daily injections that I felt more like a pin-cushion than a woman. But, guess what? It worked! I was pregnant after the very first cycle! It was October, and my due date was June. I would be pregnant during Mother’s Day!
A regular sonogram four weeks later revealed the opposite–I had miscarried. The day after Thanksgiving, I sat in an exam room sobbing while John held my hand. No baby. And thus began some of the lowest days of my adult life. I felt empty and incompetent. I cried out to the Lord, and He answered me through scripture.
The beginning of 1 Samuel tells the story of Hannah. Although married, and adored by her husband, Hannah had no children. She was distraught. 1 Samuel 1:8 “Then Elkanah her husband said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep and why do you not eat and why is your heart sad? Am I not better to you than ten sons?” V.10 “And she, greatly distressed, prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly.” Yep…I did too. I am physically ill just thinking back to it. My heart hurts and my stomach twists. It was awful.
I encourage you to read the rest of 1 Samuel to find out what happens to Hannah. As for me, well, God blessed us with triplets in 2007.
PLEASE, PLEASE pray for those beautiful women who will be suffering this Sunday: those who never had children, those who lost children, and those whose Mother’s are no longer here on this Earth. While there is so much to celebrate on Mother’s Day, I cry out for those who are hurting. May God’s peace be with you.
~ Jill Power