Hi, my name is Jill and I like to be in control.

Hi, my name is Jill and I like to be in control.

I’m not a control-freak. I don’t go around trying to control the actions of others. I don’t manipulate people to get what I want. BUT, I do like to be in complete control of what happens to me.

As the daughter of an alcoholic, abusive father, so many things happened to me as a child that were completely out of control. Thanks to a counseling session in college, I learned that as I matured, I subconsciously tried to control everything I thought I could. For me, it was my planner. I carried a planning calendar around every second from high school through the year the triplets were born. I would add notes, plan, circle dates. Heaven forbid something change that would cause me to erase. And you better not get in the way of my plan!

I planned on going to college. Check!

I planned on getting married. Check!

I planned on getting my Master’s Degree. Check!

I planned on being a principal. Check!

I planned on having a family.

    Oh, wait. I can’t get pregnant. We have to do In-Vitro Fertilization to have a child? That’s not in my plan.

    I’m having triplets? That’s not in my plan either.

You want me to write, God? Ok, I guess I can do that.

You want me to start a blog and reach out to your girls? OK, I’ll do that too.

I see that His plan is always better than mine, and yet I still crave control.

My desire to control indicates a lack of Trust in God.

Our God is faithful, and He has sent me a message. His message came through the words of the Bethel song, “No Longer a Slave.” The majority of the song is about not being a slave to fear. However, that’s not what got me—fear doesn’t rule me. Control does.

I’m singing along and I get to these words,

   “You split the sea so I could walk right through it.”

I sing it again… “YOU split the sea so I could walk right through it.”

Wait, I don’t split the sea. I don’t make the path. I don’t make the plan.

God does. God makes the way.

God requires me to be obedient, to follow where He leads, and to walk through when He splits the sea.  

And that, my friends, is trust.

Jill Power

  • James OliverJune 14, 2017 at 7:41 pm
    Hi Jill. My name is James. I like to be in control too! Great devotional! I've been learning the last couple of months that I have a lot that I need to let God have and stop trying to control myself. He's much better at it than I am. God bless you and your writing! JamesReply

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